A bridge? What to do?

 “Whatever you do, make sure that you keep a relationship going, don’t piss off others.”

That is the advice I’ve been getting since my teenage years, for both my personal and professional career.  


I lived and continue to live by that advice. It isn’t easy but it sure is worth it to live a life with no enemies and a large network of good people.


BUT now I am starting to question the advice. I am not questioning if it is good or bad, but wondering if there is a better approach.


In recent years, I also got the advice of engaging with your network, keep these bridges active, it is useless to have them there, take advantage of these relationships. Well, that was a step in the right direction. Don’t burn bridges, but also use them.


STILL NOT ENOUGH - Limiting your interactions to your social circle, at work or home, will get you so far. The world is much larger than our circle and if our dream is to grow and expand our options, then we must learn how to connect to the available opportunities out there. We must learn to build new bridges, we must work on connecting with the right people out there.


I am a strong believer in the concept of a “growth mindset”, but never thought of applying it to this area of my life. Let’s take job hunting for example. Most of my advice to others or the advice I always got was “well, let me know if you see something in my network, I am happy to make an intro” or “I will think about the proper people in my network to connect you too”. Never did I say or hear “Let’s sit down, think about what you are trying to accomplish, find the right match for you, and figure out how you could connect with it/him/her”


As an introvert (yes I am and I know that is a shocker to a few) I find it very difficult to just cold call/email/poke or even smoke signal someone. And here is my view of networking now

  1. Maintain a healthy network. Don’t burn the bridges and use them as much as possible

  2. Expand your network. Easier said than done. Start by taking the time and asking your current network to help you - you should help them too. The prerequisite here is to know what you are looking for - why you want to build these bridges


I recently listened to Professor Marissa King on the “HBR IdeaCast” podcast and I highly recommend you do too. Going to buy her book now.

Comments

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